There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
