u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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