Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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