Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
