I just pynch a tree in the face
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There are leaves in my underwear?
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