i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
