If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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