Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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