The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
