Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
