i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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