My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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