apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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