Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
