Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
