Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
