dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
