He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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