im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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