problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
