It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
im holly from the hills drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
