hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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