I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
