Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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