I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Randomize
