Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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