You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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