i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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