I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize