I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize