It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
