I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
