Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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