Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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