hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
