He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
