When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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