.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
