Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
