So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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