this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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