Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
