xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
40s are totally the cure
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
