I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
