worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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