unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
