You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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