You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he shaved USA in his pubs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
