He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
