Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
