If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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