guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
