I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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