The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
