New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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