Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
