Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm bleeding and have questions
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize