There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
