Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Randomize