i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
