every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
