how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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