lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
