she was so not down for the gang bang
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
