Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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